Moan for me like Helen Keller
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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