i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
