she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
