Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
