This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!