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apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Randomize
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