bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
