I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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