I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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