Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sponge bath it is.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
