Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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