How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
