it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
