I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
