Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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