Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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