No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
