I'm going to jail i love you
operation harelip BJ is a go
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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