My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
