You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
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Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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