My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
