My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
