i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I smell like Dick and happiness
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