One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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