do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
