Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
