This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
