we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
