I'm really into asian looking animals
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
