He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
3 2 1 whiskey
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You were trust falling into bushes
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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