guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize