GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
