It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
