so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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