Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize