They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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