For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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