omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
