2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
