The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
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Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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