doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just fell off a train. Bad.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
