We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
