if you like me you must not know who I am
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
