We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The beer is more important than you right now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
