I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's shark week go big or go home
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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