I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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