dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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