Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
