Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
