Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
