do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
