these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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