I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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