If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
