No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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