laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
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She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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