my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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