Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
