I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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