I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
