If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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