M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
