And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
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Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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