If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize