i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
