so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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