It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
