there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
