do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
