I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
