pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
